


Why? Why me?

by SpAcE_MiLk



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alex is a Fuckboi, Angst, Eventual Smut, High School, Hits You In The Feels, John is abused, John is strong and not a “owo boy”, M/M, Modern, PTSD, Sad, a little fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-12
Updated: 2018-10-12
Packaged: 2019-07-16 06:08:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16080065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpAcE_MiLk/pseuds/SpAcE_MiLk
Summary: Alexander Hamilton is the biggest fuckboi in the school, boy, girls, it didn't matter, his goal was to get everyone. He is like this because of family issues.John Laurens is a sad teen who pretends to be happy and uses humor to hide his true emotions and his home life. He shuts people out and tends to be alone and rebellious.Alexander and John just want love.What happens when John switches to Alexander school.High school au.





	Why? Why me?

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfic, I apologize in advance for my bad writing. As far as I know this is my original idea. This is angsty, so read at your own risk.

(An, there are triggers, this story is angsty.

Read at your own risk. I will put trigger warnings at the beginning of the chapters)

Tw, mentions of past abuse))

 

John's POV

_”John, do you realize what you’ve done to our family?!”  My father screams at me, a belt in one hand, a letter of mine in the other. “You need to be cured! No son of mine shall be gay“ he raises the belt, ready to attack. I knew my father was somewhat abusive, but I  have Never thought that he would do something like this. I sit there, hot, salty tears stream down my face. I’m frozen in fear, I can’t move._

_The_ _belt_ _comes_ _cracking_ _down_ _on me_ -

 

I wake up with a jolt, I don't realize in that moment but I'm screaming. My throat hurts and tears are spilling out of my eyes. Everything hurts. I curl up into a ball, sobbing into the soft fabric of my leggings. I hate those memories, the night I came out. I remember it vividly,

 

we were all sitting at the table, eating dinner, like a happy, normal, family. My dad, my mama, Mary, Martha, Henry jr., and I were all sitting there. I was sitting next to mama, I slid a note to her, my coming out letter. I hoped she'd accept me.

 

I wish she had accepted me...

 

She read the note and broke down sobbing. I looked at her, pain and hurt shooting through my body, not physical, emotional. I watched as my mama stood up and walked away, sobbing her eyes out. I looked down at the floor, tears were falling down my face. I could feel everyone's eyes on me, burning holes through my very being.

 

After a few minutes my mama came back downstairs, holding a duffle bag. She looked around before speaking, "I-I'm taking t-the kids and l-l-leaving. I can't st-stay here with a s-son like him." She stuttered out, still crying. My mama was now wearing her necklace with a cross on it. I didn't know, I thought she loved me, but she didn't. I thought she would accept me, but she didn't. She handed my dad, my letter, as well as a note explaining things.

 

Henry read the note, he looked at me, a scowl plastered on his face—-

 

No, no. I don't want to remember anymore, no more. I try to focus on my breathing, I try to calm down but to no avail. I glance at my alarm clock, the bright red numbers were flashing 4:20 am. Two hours till I can escape the hellhole of my home just to go to another hellhole, school.

 

This was extra terrible because this was a new school, I got kicked out of my old one because I had gotten into a fight, it wasn't even my fault in the first place! But of course no one believes me, the gay, loner kid who causes trouble. This is going to be terrible, I can’t wait till I graduate, just seven more months till I’m free, free from everything and every one. But right now I am trapped, and the most I can do is just get some rest, everything will be better once I’m asleep.. I close my eyes and begin to calm down, before I know it I’m asleep. 

 

***

”wake the fuck up or you’ll be late!!” What great words to wake up to, but of course, this is the only alarm clock I know. I sit up and look my father in the eye, stretching and yawning. On a good day I would’ve said a ‘good morning’ but today I only grumble and roll my eyes, starring at the blank wall ahead of me. 

 

After he finally leaves I heave myself out of my bed with a groan, this was going to be a great fucking day. I look through my closet for something acceptable to wear, I end up choosing a black hoodie, it covers up the scars and bruises and to be honest, it looks cute on me. I pair that with a pair of distressed jeans, there are rips and holes in many places, it brings edge to my outfit. I love it. I stand and look into the full body mirror in front of me, the baggy clothes loose as well as the curls atop of my head. I grab a hair tie from my wrist and tie my hair up into a low ponytail, two curls framing my tan, freckled face. I feel my lips curling into a small smile, I look cute from an outsiders perspective. Edgey, baggy, collage chic. 

 

When i’m finally happy with my look I grab my bag, it was really satchel, and slide a few notebooks into it. I walk out of my room, and quickly out the door, too fast for my dad to even notice, I’m fine just walking, I’m fine with being late to school. It’s not like I ever cared anyways. I begin my somewhat long walk to Adams high, my pace is pretty slow, if I’m lucky I’ll get there in the next 45 minutes.

 

***

 

surprisingly when I walk in everyone is still there, crowding the halls. Huh, I thought this place was farther than it actually was. Besides that, I got my schedule, locker, and locker combo. Locker number 27, the combo 10-28-57. My first class is history with Mr. Washington, interesting. Anyway, I slide my notebooks and textbooks into the small space of the locker, when I feel a firm, hard,smack on my ass. I let out a high pitched, surprised noise, a squeak? I don’t know, but I look over to see there,

there’s  a boy with a group of other males, laughing. From what I can tell the boy is very attractive, brown, almost black, hair tied up into a ponytail, sharp jawline, peach fuzz, bright amber eyes. He’s wearing a regular black tee-shirt with jeans, and might I ass that his clothes are tight in all the right places, I can see his abs, and his ass. He’s got a nice ass for a guy. I realize I’m starting, a blush creeping up on my face, dusting my cheeks, I turn away, slamming my locker shut. I should’ve told him off, yelled at him for harassing me, why didn’t I? What, his good looks distracted me? Ugh, fucker. Whatever, I have other, better, things to focus on. 

 

***

 

The classroom is like any other, desks in rows, inspirational posters, one big desk in the front. Who sat in that desk was pretty interesting though. A tall, tanish, bald man sits on the desk, fumbling with an apple in his hands, smiling as he talked about something or other. There were a few other people there, but I take my place in the back left corner, right next to the window, which is perfect as it was a beautiful day, and I love to daydream the blue sky, the fluffy clouds. It was the perfect scenery for daydreaming, it was beautiful to say the least.

 

I crack a small smile, wow, I didn't think that was possible for me anymore. Though, my small moment of bliss soon ends as..

 

He

 

Walks in.

 

That, that- jerk! That stupid, good looking, perv. God, of course he's in my this class with me. The universe really loves me.

 

And of course this little -ugh- winks at me as he walks over.

 

Wait, walks over? He's coming this way? Shit. I just wanna wipe that smug smirk off the Fuckers face as he walks right up to me and plops down right into the seat next to me.

 

I grunt and keep my face facing forward, I won't give him an ounce of attention. I know he's looking at me, I can feel him, or his eyes at least. I put my elbows up on the desk, cupping my cheek and slouching into my hand.

 

***

The teacher is going on about something or other, He only catches my attention when he says 'partner work' now, I've never been the one to like partner work. Hell, I'm the very definition of 'introvert'

 

He starts naming off names, "Connor and Evan, Lafayette and Hercules, Maria and Peggy, Jeremy and Michael, Alexander and James, Burr and John. J, Samuel and Charles....and John. L and Thomas..."

 

I don't listen anymore, I'm too busy looking at the ground, who was Thomas? Seems like kind of a fuckboi name but whatever. I only look up when I hear a deep-ish voice huskily talking In my ear.

 

"Hear that, darlin' we're gonna to be partners.."

 


End file.
